Sacrifice or Regret
by lolli.pop9
Summary: Momiji has to make a choice. risk sacrificing a beautiful friendship or live a lifetime of regret. NEW CHAPTERS! sorry about delay... what happens when Tohru's world comes crashing down? Can Momiji save her? please review!
1. Choice

'I'll go make some tea'

'I'LL HELP! I'LL HELP!'

Momiji leapt from his chair and ran after Tohru into the kitchen. They had been playing go fish, but Kyo and Uo were having a fight so the game was on hold. As he walked into the room he saw Tohru struggling to reach a cup from the top shelf. He smiled to himself and walked over her. He gently leant against her as he reached up and took the cup down from the shelf, taking the opportunity to discreetly smell her hair. He fought the urge to kiss her as she turned around, and handed her the small china cup.

'Thank you Momiji'

'You're welcome! I can help a lot better now that I'm tall! So if you ever can't reach something, call me! 'kay?'

'Okay!'

He felt himself glowing at Tohru's praise. Momiji had always loved Tohru. Of course at first it had been a love that a child has for its mother; she always acted as he wished his mama would, worrying about him, letting him help to do chores and smiling affectionately at his hyper-active outbursts. But recently the love had changed. He suspected that he had become more mature since his growth spurt, but it was hard to tell. Whatever the reason, he was finding it harder and harder to be away from Tohru; away from the shining eyes, nervous laugh and smell of strawberry shampoo that had become all to familiar.

He followed her back into the lounge room, where Kyo and Yuki were sulkily awaiting their return. Shigure sat in between them, extravagantly gesturing as he spoke into his mobile.

'Of course Ayame, see you in five minutes!'

This was met with an abundance of complaints from both Kyo and Yuki, and a few worried comments from Tohru about whether or not there would be enough dinner for their guest. Momiji acted his usual joyful self, but secretly wanted to join Kyo and Yuki. It wasn't fair of Shigure to invite Ayame (though he wasn't sure if Ayame thought he needed to be invited) to dinner without asking Tohru first, even if she was sure to say yes. Besides, he wouldn't have Tohru's attention now. She'd be too busy dealing with Ayame's live drama and Yuki's guaranteed tantrum.

With dinner over, everyone was sitting at the table talking. Naturally Ayame overpowered the conversation and managed to pinpoint someone to humiliate. Momiji was surprised to find himself the centre of attention.

'So Momiji, I bet the ladies are just throwing themselves at your feet now, you gorgeous young man!' ranted Ayame.

'Pervert' chorused Yuki and Kyo.

'What a good point! So Momiji who's the lady of your interests? What damsel occupies your dreams? Where is the maiden who has stolen your heart?' oozed Shigure, making an innocent comment suddenly deep and inquisitive.

'Oh, well… err… ummm…' Momiji didn't know what to reply to make this conversation go away. He could feel his face heating up as his cheeks where engulfed in the deep red blush that Ayame and Shigure had triggered.

'My, my! It seems that there is such a female! Well come on, don't keep secrets, tell, tell.' Ayame was leaning forward in his chair, now interested.

'Oh… you see… ummm…'

'Ahhh… love. I take it you haven't told her? Well you must. It is imperative that you do. It will affect your entire life. Especially if she's a big part of your life already. A lifetime of regret is the price you pay for hiding your emotions. And the pain of that far exceeds the pains of rejection.'

Momiji remained silent. Shigure's words had reminded him of why he was such a successful novelist. He was completely correct. Momiji had to tell Tohru of his feelings; a life time of regret was something he was not willing to live with. No, he would risk it, he would pick an appropriate time and declare his love to Tohru.

'Momiji, will you please help me in the kitchen with these dishes?' Tohru said as she stood up, breaking the awkward silence.

''kay!' he said as he followed Tohru, and his destiny…


	2. Heartbreak

Momiji stumbled through the door of the classroom. He had been going so fast that he hadn't been able to stop properly.

'Always one to make a dramatic entrance, aren't you Momiji?' said his history teacher, trying to stifle his laughter. This comment was met by an excess of murmurs and giggling from his classmates.

'Sorry I'm late sir.' Momiji replied as he sat down at his desk next to Haru.

'Why are you so late anyway?' whispered Haru.

'Dunno, just am…'

Momiji didn't like lying to Haru, but if Haru knew he would want to join Momiji's plans and then he would never be able to be alone with Tohru. The reason for Momiji's tardiness was that he had been talking to Tohru outside her classroom on the other side of the school. Not the smartest thing to do before class, but it seemed the best time. Momiji had organized for Tohru and him to get ice cream after school. Tohru had been more than enthusiastic about the idea, saying that it would give her a perfect opportunity to tell Momiji something. He was excited, hoping that this was a sign of her sharing his feelings. He just had to make it to the end of the day…

'Hey! Momiji! Over here!'

'Coming Tohru!'

Momiji ran over to Tohru, hardly able to contain his excitement. So much planning had gone into this afternoon, it was now a fortnight since Shigure's life changing speech and Momiji had barely slept since, as he had been too distracted by thoughts about appropriate locations, methods and times for his announcement. But it had all been for this, this perfect moment in this perfect place with this perfect goddess of a woman; Tohru Honda, Momiji's ray of sunshine among clouds, rose among weeds, Momiji's reason for existence, and he knew deep in his heart that she would be his salvation from the curse that had left him with invisible scars, so deep that the pain would not end, but so masked by extravagant gestures and childlike laughter that they appeared none existing to even the most trained eye.

Momiji and Tohru walked side by side down the narrow street leading to the shopping centre. Occasionally their hands would brush, causing electricity to shoot up his arm and down his spine.

'Where should we go for ice cream?' asked Momiji, he had purposely left this detail out of his plans, he wanted Tohru to be comfortable when he told her.

'There's a really nice place near the bakery, I'd like to go there if that's O.K with you.'

'Sound's great!' said Momiji.

Momiji felt the nerves swelling in his belly as they approached the small ice cream shop. A small shop, its walls were painted a brilliant white, as well as the floor and all the benches, tables, etc. The chairs were an assortment of bright colours, standing out in the shining store. The ice cream was behind a glass panel so clean it was hard to believe it was actually there. The ice cream itself was in a range of colours and decorated to suit its flavour, e.g. strawberry was covered in fresh strawberries. The staff were all wearing brightly coloured shirts, black caps and huge grins the same colour as the walls. Tohru and a tall, skinny girl with white blonde hair and perfect blue eyes gestured to each other.

'That's Mandy, she's American' Tohru said.

'Wow! She's real pretty!' Momiji replied.

Momiji began to look at the flavours on display. The flavours were mostly odd things with long names. Cinnamon Donut caught his eye as well as Chewy Bubble Gum. Momiji looked up to ask Tohru what flavours she liked when Tohru suddenly beamed and waved at someone behind the counter. The person receiving Tohru's attention was a young man, only a year or two older than Tohru. He was an employee at the ice cream shop and seemed very happy to see Tohru.

'Hey! Mandy told me you were here!' the mystery boy said as he came out from behind the counter.

Tohru ran over to the boy and flung her arms around his neck. He gently hugged her around the waist and she stoop on her toes to reach his face and gave him a small, yet intimate, kiss. She swiveled around to look at Momiji, still in the arms of the boy.

'Momiji, this is Jason! This is what I wanted to tell you! I have a boyfriend! I haven't told anyone yet, you're the first to know!' Tohru continued to talk after this, but Momiji didn't hear any of it.

With those words Momiji had felt his heart break in two. All the time spent admiring her, thinking about her, watching her, hearing her, _loving_ her. All the heart ache over whether or not she felt the same way. All the planning and devotion. It had all been in vain. There was someone else. Of course there was someone else. How could he be so stupid? Why would he be the only one to notice her? And of course there would be someone who she loved. Some perfect person who was the embodiment of the Prince Charming in her dreams. Someone who made her feel the way she made him feel. And that person would never be Momiji. Hyper-active, immature, stupid, naïve Momiji. He was a year younger than her for god's sake. What was he thinking? He wasn't thinking. He wasn't awake. He wasn't noticing the obvious. To Tohru he wasn't a _real _friend. He was the little kid that the older child assures they like and want to hangout with, even though they're really tired of the childish games. He was a joke. He was a presence only there because of a young girl's pity and sympathy. He would never be more. No matter how much he dreamed and prayed, he would never truly be more than that annoying child that nobody wants around.

But even with the emotions raging within the fragments of his shattered heart he continued to smile, he continued to act excited and ask stupid questions. He continued to make random, hyper-active comments. And he continued to pretend that the opportunity for free ice cream made everything O.K. Though he knew it wouldn't last, he knew that something would happen to make him crack and no longer be able to keep up the charade of being 'super excited' for Tohru and liking Jason. And it did.

'Why do you still have this thing on? It looks stupid' Tohru teased as she pulled off his black cap, revealing, to Momiji's dismay, the beautiful teen beneath it.

His jaw line and cheekbones were both perfectly angled, making him look fit and slightly elflike without being to hollow and thin. His nose was smallish, it occupied the middle of his face without overpowering is other features. It was almost unnoticeable, yet not boring or ugly, quite the opposite. His lips were full, slightly plumper on the bottom and revealed a row of straight, white teeth when he smiled. His eyes were a perfect, warm, deep brown and shined brightly whatever angle his face was at. They were slightly covered by his huge mane of deep brown hair. It was about 10cm long and stuck out at all angles, making it appear uncontrollable and wild. He was perfect and Momiji hated him for it.

'God your gorgeous, I love you so much' gushed Tohru as she felt his hair and kissed him. She turned his back to him to throw the hat behind the counter.

'Love you to' he casually drawled as he checked out the young brunette that had just entered.

He raised his eyebrows and nodded towards her, obviously alerting Momiji to her body. Momiji couldn't believe it. He had the most perfect girl in the world and was just taking advantage of her! He had to restrain himself from physically attacking him; he didn't want Tohru to get hurt by the jerk. But he was unable to stop himself from being rude to Jason. He no longer pretended to care about details of dates or his pointless, self centered stories. He could sense Tohru becoming wary of his change of personality, but just didn't care anymore.

'And in the end I totally passed' Jason finished yet another boring story.

'Wow that must have been sooo difficult! Good for you!' Momiji immediately regretted his sarcasm.

'Momiji what has gotten in to you? Why are you being such a jerk?' Asked Tohru.

'I'M NOT… I mean… uuhh… EERRGGHH!' Momiji picked up his belonging and left, leaving a shocked Tohru and Jason sitting and watching him leave.


	3. Let Loose

_This chapter contains Momiji acting more mature than usual, so if you don't like that don't read it. The change of personality will probably stay through out the rest of this story, but I haven't decided yet… hmmmmm… please, please, please review!!!! _

_Disclaimer: Fruits Basket doesn't belong to me. Tear Tear, Cry Cry, oh well…_

Momiji threw his belongings on the floor and fell onto his bed. It didn't take long for the tears to come, no matter how hard he tried to stop them. He rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. It wasn't fair, that jerk didn't deserve Tohru. Perfect, pure Tohru who was so kind and trusting that she wouldn't believe that Jason was a stupid, perverted, playboy until it was too late and her fragile heart was left just as broken as she had caused Momiji's to be.

It had been a month since Momiji had had his outburst at the ice cream shop, and he still hadn't talked to Tohru, or rather, she hadn't talked to him. The tension between the two was painful, even for those who weren't involved. But, as much as it hurt him, Momiji couldn't bring himself to apologize, to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness. As far as he was concerned he hadn't done anything wrong, it wasn't his fault Tohru had bad taste in boys. Uo and Hana naturally backed Tohru 100 and refused to acknowledge Momiji whatsoever. Haru seemed to be on Momiji's side, but it was hard to tell, as well as Kyo, though this was probably because this was Tohru's first boyfriend since they broke up (Kyo wanted to pursue his martial arts and didn't want a relationship, they soon realized that they were happier as friends). Everyone else appeared to be neutral, although Momiji suspected that they favoured Tohru; it made sense though, her argument was much stronger than Momiji's was as long as he didn't reveal his true feelings or Jason's unfaithful behavior, which he didn't want to do, Tohru needed to find out for herself.

Momiji looked down at the crumpled piece of paper in his hand. It was an invitation to the birthday party of one of the senior girls. All of the Sohma's from Momiji and Haru's year level and up had been invited. This was a common occurrence at the school, as the Sohma boys would attract girls, and they would attract boys and the party would end up a success. Momiji didn't usually go, but this party was supposed to be the best of the year (even Yuki was going) and he really needed to relax and have fun to take his mind off Tohru.

Momiji took a sip from the drink in his hand as he scanned the room. He was in a corner of the lounge room being used as a dance floor at the massive party he was in the middle of. Everyone had gotten separated almost immediately when the arrived and Momiji was currently taking a break from dancing and being chased by girls. He was in a good mood, and was considering saying yes to the next girl that suggested they go 'get some air'; although the red Smirnoff he was drinking plus the Cowboys he'd had earlier could have something to do with it. He didn't usually drink or party like this, but he was enjoying himself, so why not? What was wrong with absorbing some good vibes and dancing to the electro beats blasting from the huge speakers? Momiji decided to move and see if he could find some fun.

He pushed his way through the crowd, laughing as he remembered that he couldn't have done this before the curse had been lifted. He paused to take a swig of Smirnoff and found himself dancing with a girl who had obviously had more to drink than him. Eventually some of the girls friends came and clumsily dragged her away, so Momiji continued through the crowd to the stairs. He got to the top of the stairs and was just about to join a group of party-goers who appeared to be playing spin the bottle in one of the bedrooms when he suddenly heard the sound of a girl screaming coming from down the hall…


	4. Gone

Do I own fruits basket

Do I own fruits basket? No… no I don't… boo…

The italics is Momiji's thoughts

Momiji ran down the hall and burst into the room that the screams were coming from. The room in question was obviously the bedroom of the host's parents, the double bed, antique vanity and sophisticated, ethnic, furnishings gave it away. Although the scene that Momiji saw didn't seem to belong in this extravagant room at all. There was Tohru, tears pouring down her smooth cheeks, makeup running, screaming her lungs out as she through any object she could in the direction of the bed. In the bed, and the obvious target of Tohru's attack was Jason, looking upset, though whether this was because he'd upset Tohru or because he was worried that he might get hit in the face by an antique candelabra was hard to tell. On his left there was a tiny blonde, huddled up to Jason, trying to use him as a shield from the bombardment of knick-knacks hurtling towards her and looking very shocked and upset. On his right there was an equally tiny brunette, also using Jason as a shield, who looked quite annoyed at being interrupted during her 'fun'.

'Baby, it isn't what it looks like at all!' Jason made a pathetic attempt to calm Tohru.

'Then what the bloody hell is it?'

'Well, you see, um, well'

'I can't believe you'd do this to me!'

'I didn't plan to; I just…'

'Just accidentally found your self doing it behind my back?'

'Don't be like that'

'What's going on in here?' Momiji turned around to see Yuki, Kyo and just about everyone else looking through the door.

In about two seconds everyone was shouting at Jason and surrounding Tohru, attempting to comfort the weeping teen. Obviously not in the mood for large groups of people, Tohru proceeded to yell at everyone to leave her alone, but with a few swear words thrown in. She then barged out of the room and left the house. It was decided to let her be alone and not worry about her yet, although needless to say Uo, Hana and Kyo heartily disagreed. Momiji left the room shortly after, everything was getting too much for him.

It had been an hour since Tohru ad left and every one was beginning to get worried. She hadn't contacted anybody and her mobile was switched off. Soon arguments began mostly caused by mixed emotions and tension so thick that it was hard to breathe. And of course Momiji was 'such a poor thing, having to see that', 'too immature to understand' and 'better off staying over there, why don't you go get an ice cream?. Momiji was on the verge of cracking, he wasn't a 'poor little thing', he wasn't immature and didn't need some bimbo patronizing him. What made it even worse was the fact that everyone's opinion of him wasn't affected by the fact that he was still clutching a half empty Cruiser and was obviously quite drunk.

Hours had passed since Tohru's departure and, despite a few unenthusiastic attempts at continuing the party; everyone was well and truly troubled by her disappearance. A few people made suggestions about her location, and Kyo nearly went out looking for her, before someone pointed out the looming storm clouds, and therefore imminent rain. Finally, after one of his suggestions was yet again dismissed as childish, Momiji snapped.

Leaping from his chair, Momiji simply said 'fk you' before storming out of the house, making a point of slamming as many doors as possible.


	5. Found

Momiji ran through the streets, past the few people who were still out at that time of night. He didn't quite know where he was going, or why he was going there; all he knew was that he was looking for the love of his life, his broken angel, Tohru. He continued to run until he ran into a middle aged woman who looked as though she was returning home after a night out.

'oh… sorry..' mumbled Momiji.

'No harm done, where are you going?' the woman asked, with a concerned, motherly tone that Momiji wasn't used to, as a result of his mothers abandonment.

'I… I don't know' Momiji admitted. The question had cleared his head; he realized that running aimlessly wouldn't find Tohru.

He began to ask passersby and the owners of the few open stores if they had seen a young, distressed girl around. He did this for what felt like hours, until finally the owner of a small grocery store told Momiji that he had seen such a girl, stumbling blindly through the streets, tears streaming down her face. Momiji found a few more witnesses to this, and soon had an idea of where to look, although he was rapidly growing more and more worried for Tohru's safety.

The young blonde kept walking in the direction he had been pointed in, only changing course to pass by favourite stores or parks of Tohru's. A few times he thought he had found her, spying a flash of long brown hair, or hearing a familiar voice. But each time he was wrong, having instead seen a shadow or hearing a stranger. All the same Momiji persistently searched for her, to no avail. He was about to give up, go home and pray that Shigure or Yuki would call to tell him that Tohru and simply returned home and fallen asleep without contacting anyone, or had gone to stay in the comforting warmth of her Grandfather's house, when he saw a small group of people, huddled together just outside an alley way.

Momiji jogged up to the crowd and pushed his way to the front. And there she was. Passed out, lifeless, on the cold hard concrete was Tohru, a small bottle of what looked like painkillers at her side. A few people crouched next to her, desperately trying to resuscitate the unconscious girl. Momiji couldn't speak; his voice was lost in the depths of the raving emotions, shock, guilt, pain that he was feeling at this sight. He fell to his knees at her side and grabbed her hands.

'Tohru, Tohru, wake up. Please. You have to wake up.' Momiji's voice returned as he rambled helplessly, not knowing what he was supposed to do. The others who had been trying to wake her realized that he knew her and stepped back, allowing him to be alone with her.

Momiji gently cupped Tohru's cheek, even in her condition she looked like a sleeping angle. His thumb slowly traced the tear stains that clung to her cheek, and finally allowed his own tears to flow. He continued to ramble, begging Tohru to wake up, not to die, not to leave him. He let his head drop, and buried his face in her soft, brown hair as he desperately held her, as if he was trying to stop her from flying away from him, from his world. The familiar scent of her hair filled his lungs, but now it was like a poison, reminding him of his rejection, his failure to protect Tohru from the scum that had hurt her, pushed her to hurt herself. He felt anger begin to swell inside him. It swallowed his guilt, although it 

would surely return, and aimed itself at Jason. Jason. It was his fault; he had done this to Tohru. He had the most beautiful girl in the entire world, and yet that hadn't been enough. He needed more, he couldn't settle for just Tohru. Perfect Tohru, who was now lying here, barely breathing, barely alive.

'Mo…momiji?' a soft voice, barely audible, whispered his name. He lifted his head slightly and his eyes met Tohru's.

'Oh thank god, thank god you're alive' gushed Momiji as he pulled Tohru back into a hug. He looked back up at her face and saw the tears begin to flow.

'Oh Momiji… Momiji he… he…' words softly spurted from Tohru's mouth as she cried. Momiji hushed her and stoked her cheek.

'I know, I know, everything's okay now' Momiji whispered to her, trying to calm her.

Momiji felt a rain drop on his back, followed quickly by more. He quickly removed his jacket and, after helping Tohru into a sitting position, wrapped it around her. She moved to stand up, but Momiji quickly stopped her and scooped her up bridal style. He held her close and withheld a smile as she snuggled deeper into his chest. Slowly he carried her out of the alley and past the remaining people who had been watching the scene. He ignored the protests of the people, urging him to wait for an ambulance. Hatori could take care of this. He didn't want to have to leave her side again, at least not tonight. Tohru soon fell into a deep slumber in his arms. Momiji took this moment to study her perfect features and whispered a secret confession to her sleeping form.

'I love you'

Should this be the end? Please review!


	6. promise

Hey y'all!! So sorry that it takes me so long to update, but… well… I'm lazy. Please keep reviewing if you want me to update quicker because otherwise I forget. Suggestions for future plotlines are totally welcome; i suffer from writers block quite often. Hope you enjoy this chapter!!

The tension in the air was so thick that it was difficult to breath. It had been hours since anyone had seen Momiji, and even longer since they had seen Tohru. Uo and Hana were barely holding together, they sat, huddled close, on a red leather arm chair, near tears. Kyo and Yuki hadn't fought for a long time, too long. At first they'd bickered half-heartedly to vent their frustration. The others were also dotted around the small, crowded room. Hatori peered his head through the door, scanning the room with his concerned gaze. He resisted the urge to tell Kyo to get off his desk, or Ritsu to stop rearranging pens; now wasn't the time for nagging. It was an unspoken decision to go to Hatori's to wait for news. If anything had happened, and it was becoming more and more likely that it had, this was where they would come. Or where the hospital would ring. If nothing but emotional damage had occurred, Momiji could usually be found here anyway. And if not, they would surely go to Shigure's, and soon enough someone would return there and find them, sad, but unharmed. At least that was what they kept telling themselves, over and over, a mantra even. That is what kept them sane. Stopped them from going crazy, calling the police, the television stations, the army, and begging them to find their treasure, their princess; the ray of hope that had kept them going and released them all from the curse that had threatened to destroy them. As word had spread of Tohru's disappearance, and to a lesser extent Momiji's, other members of the Sohma family had been arriving, until eventually all former Zodiacs, excluding the rabbit of course, had filled Hatori's office.

Suddenly the door slid open, sending a chilling breeze and spray of water from the outside storm through the room. There in the door stood Momiji, soaked completely, hair pasted to his head. In his arms he cradled an unconscious Tohru, also wet, but mostly shielded by Momiji and his thick jacket that was wrapped around her tiny frame. In a second everyone was in motion. Uo, Hana and Kisa were practically on top of Momiji, trying to Tohru while Momiji pulled her away, just far enough that she wouldn't be disturbed, protectively. Yuki, Kyo and the others were a step behind, craning their necks to check for any visible injury to Tohru. Hatori rushed into the room and beckoned for Momiji to come into his office, where he had a hospital-style bed set up and all his medical supplies set-up. Momiji began to push his way through the wall of people preventing him from reaching Hatori, the distressed girls refusing to leave Tohru, even for her benefit. Luckily Haru, Kyo, Rin and Hiro intervened, literally pulling the others away so Momiji could get past. But over the next few days it became evident that Momiji wouldn't be removed so easily.

No amount of disapproving stares, pleading or, in some cases aggression, would remove Momiji from Tohru's side. The others watched in confusion, and concern as Momiji sat by her side say after day, night after night. Only moving when the need for the bathroom became too much, and this wasn't often as he barely ate, or slept for that matter. He simply sat by her side, occasionally reaching out to stroke her cheek, or shift a stray lock of hair off her face. Momiji had long since told the others what had happened that night, minus a few details of course, and Hatori had soon confirmed that she was suffering from a painkiller overdose. He said she would be fine, but would be unconscious for an undetermined period of 

time, no longer than a fortnight he assured the small crowd of people that seemed to be in his home constantly, rotating members every few hours.

Momiji had promised himself that he would be there when she woke, and remain there afterwards, if not physically, emotionally, as a support, a guardian angel even. He swore to himself that he would protect her, that never again would he let this happen.


End file.
